yOuR ReMix

Hmmm. seems it has been quite a while since i last posted. I really should try to write more in this, probably more to my benifit than anyones elses but maybe it would keep my brain sane? Soooo whats been happening in the world of Shannon? It seems to have been twisted, tossed, turned, reversed and sideways. other wise pretty good lol. Im trying to figure to many things out as usual and my brain doesnt believe in sleep. :) so not much has changed lol.

Some of the things im trying to figure out are way beyond me. some of them i really dont think im supose to understand. And i think in realizing that i have been reacting to issues differently then everybody else. I am not trying to be mean or rude i just think im dealing with it differently, its not being ignored like my family thinks it is but im also trying to figure out me at the same time. how does this change me? how do you continue?

Growing up fast i always had a pretty good idea of what is "me" now, i know its there, but its struggling to resurface. i want to say some of that is because of death, things will never go back to the way it was, He will probably never be the same and i just have to deal with that..it makes me have to change in how i want that father duaghter realationship i have been trying so hard to achieve. there is nothing more i want for then him to be proud. Some of it i blame on myself, not taking roads i should have, missing the oppertunities because i was scared of change. Im shannon tho, always changing why should i be scared. Im no longer scared of that change. i am working on becoming something. its slow but i know its happening. i will make a difference, i am making a difference. Even though right now it seems wrong, im really happy. So much bad is going on around me but i still see so much good. I have amazing friends who care about me, a boyfriend who i adore and love to be around and parents who do what to see and help me succeed in life. its the simple things that keep pushing me and i really need to be more thankful for that. the best i can do right now i guess is just be me.

Alrighty, time for another late night blog being that Shanon can't sleep...again lol. This week has been good. It snowed and that totally rocks. I love love love snow. I just hate how converse always get soooaked lol. I might chose to invest in some newish shoes.. The day that it snowed i totally killed me car x_x Go me lol. I left the lights on lol. That still was a pretty fun day. I didnt have to work like, at all. I got to shovel snow it was way cool. The Boyfriend came and helped me out.. then his car died to lol. it was pretty fun.. and cold lol. It was all good tho. Yesterday was a good day to. Besdies a few agruments a mall trip was agranged and proved to benfit a few certain people. hmmm. i will propaply be the only one who understands that lol.
This court thing tho kinda sucks lol. No smoking for Shannon for a while... woo. Thats alright. It might be good for my brain being as retarded as it is : ) oh well. lol. The whole court thing might be a good thing. They are trying to focus on how to better my life. I dont really need them to do that but i guess its hella better than actual court so whatev. lol. Life is really starting to become awesome again. I have a few people I think i am alIowed to blame for that ;) I am totally excited.

Friday and Saturday should be way fun..

xmas tree friday.
clubbing saturday
woo.

MMMMKay..so this season has had some crazy ups and downs. Usually i am all about fall. For em it has always been a season to renew. To become re-happy with myself etc. It started out all right i guess. Hanging out with friends doing stupids things. whatev.. During the month of october i lost two family members in one week and had thw two funerals the next week. Life happens. it bummed me out but what can you do. It just sucked cuz my mom had to do everything for both.. plan funerals blah blah blah. Us kids never saw her, in fact i was actually the one who told my siblings what all had happened. It was alright that we didnt see her, we new she was doing what had to be done. because of this and my own lack of responsibility i started to fall behind in school and now im like hauling ass to attempt to fix it.. realizing that this school isnt for me and now im switching out. but anyway.. usually im all rainbow and happy, more so it being fall, but i wasnt. i wasnt happy i wasnt me. the biggest thing that will ever piss me off is knowing im not happy and not doing anything about it. I usually have a reason to be happy everyday. Like i said life happens nothing i can do about it. Other things in life were also bringing it down. day after day i just kept going. i cut ties with some things that i needed to cut i formed realtions with people who mattered. i am getting back to my onesy and im quite excited. the past week as been supper awesome. the best week i actually had in a while. so yay. im back.

that was my vent.. woo.

SOOooo. lol trying to keep up eith my blog.. proving to be difficult. I have been kinda busy, not so much but i know its all about to get much more busier lol. I have started school which has been proven to be kinda interesting. I think it will be fun. I have already met some cool people, and i still have my already awesome people. lol I have a class with mah buddy Joey and stuff so im thinking it will be pretty fun. Its like a ton different from high school. moslty for the better.. but i have class tthat like four hours long ... X_x ...ahh but idk..

Then after i get to go to my lovely form of work. woo. higher up now so its kinda ok, but im kinda sick of trainees and miss the people who left so college.. sad face. :(:(

More news ummm.. I gots mah new dreads. It took me a while to make them. I got the hair from ikickshins in arizona and i really really like the produce so if your looking for synthedic hair to DIY go through her.. she pretty much rocks.. and she is supper fast. the only down side that i had to my dreads was i wasted a ot of hair in the making of because I had problems with my form of heat. the dreads i had before were made by a hair strightener which is ok something pending on the kind of hair you use. It wouldnt be my first choice to use but i didnt really have much of an option. BUT this hair didnt like my little strightener and it melted the hair right in half lol. i was like ohhhh :*( but then i went and invested in a steamer and its like fucking awesome.. so much better than a strightner and faster and they are so much softer and i love love love them. so if your DIY ing... use stream.. uber awesome ness. ... i am making more to put in my hair so i have a more fuller head cuz right now its just the back. but im making a lot and they are awesomly nice an dproduction is actually really quick..

Anthing else new? umm i dont know other than school and dreads and work i havent really dont much beside chill with my friends tha we all know i love very much cuz they equal the shit yo lol.. ummmm as more happens i will for sho post like i say im trying to keep this happy thing up dated hopefully like once a week or so but definatly stay tuned!!! lol

Hmm well it looks like I havent blogged in quite a while. Actually I havent blogged since school let out.. Mah bad lol. Well where should I start.. I guess at the beginning of the summer

Graduation... was really boring and HOT.. After that I had a fire at my house and that began the summer of lots of partyies, horror movie marothons, sneaking out at 2 am for a perkins run .. Terrioizing walmart at 3.. Ahhh lots of fun times lol. I have spent the majority of the summer with my friends and im very grateful for that. I feel that we have become really good friends and im like yay. Lol But sadly the summer is all to quickly coming to an end. And lots of people are running off to college. Fourtunetly my bestfriends and I have decided to stay in cambridge and do the whole community college thing first then off to different schools I supose. Hopefully in this time I can become an even better friend to my two besties and become awesome friends with a bunch of new and exciting people..

What kind of sucks is that over the summer I have lost contact with a lot of people. With working and playing at night it hasn't left a ton of time. Hopefully some of us will stay in contact an what not..

But the best part of this summer will be the memories I have and the lessons I have learned. I can honestrly say this has been the best summer of my life and besides some stupid little fights I wouldn't change anything about it. I have learned so much about the peope around me and lots of things about myself.. About how to be a better friend and a better person. There were a few times where I may have pissed a good friend off this summer but I hope that they know now I would do anything for them when ever they ask lol. I love my friends to death and they know it lol.. But im excited to enter this new chapter in life I guess, im excited to better my already awesome friendships and gain more new ones. But there is no way im going to for get how awesome this summer was.